Monday, November 04, 2019
I’ve been writing about my elderly sister. She’s failing more rapidly and I’m visiting the nursing home frequentlly. She’s becoming more fragile and tired, it’s an effort for her to speak beyond a sentence or two, yet while awake she’s very alert.
I’m working hard to rethink and re-cement her as a cornerstone in my life. She’s the big sister who successfully represented to “the little me” a lifestyle of independence and decisiveness that often flaunted old traditions. She’s the big sister to whom I was sort-of a daughter. She’s the big sister from whom I finally achieved emotional independence, but the separation took a toll on our relationship, which became acrimonious.
During the weeks of all the past mishigosh on my mind, I’ve ignored other aspects of my daily life that usually are enjoyable. Like my horses in need of attention and exercise. They’re getting fed, and I’m repairing results of their idle destructiveness, but they’ve been just standing around for weeks.
Until yesterday when I felt forced to go out and make Rosie do some groundwork. She’s begun showing signs of using her left stifle in a manner showing that she must exercise more to keep that leg’s muscles strong. I harnessed and began to long-line Rosie, feeling a little disassociated and wondering if I’d last through a half-hour of this effort. By the time we were fifteen minutes into the routine, I was focused on handling the ropes to encourage her willingness and gait, and pleased again by action with my horse.
In fact, after Rosie, although it wasn’t in my plan to harness Sunni and repeat the long-lining routine, that happened. What’s important is my renewed sense of kinship with the horses and knowing they’ve been exercised. Not to mention that all the while they’d been moving in circles, so had I, cirlcing slightly behind their girths, again and again. All this movement, a good addition to my now-daily walks on a treadmill.
In the best of times, it becomes a difficult call to balance our emotions and activities, and this becomes even worse in the toughest times, which do occur. A good support system can provide an optimal solution during both the best and worst of times.
Dear Friends: Thank you for keeping my sister and me in your thoughts. Diana
Diana's Morning Blog 
Being with our horses keeps me grounded. 😊
Sent from my iPhone
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Hi Diana, This is Angie, Elaine’s home health nurse in Arizona. I want you to know that I am thinking of you both. I still read your posts and am glad you found her a good home, and that you have repaired your relationship as has been possible. Although she probably won’t remember me, please give her a hug from me and tell her my thoughts are with her. You take care of yourself too…you’re a good sister!!!
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Oh Angie! I’ve thought often of you and am very glad to hear from you. Elaine’s last best days were those in which you were involved, and for about a year afterward, although she could not again function well enough to live alone. She’s been a challenge to everybody who ever loved her since the day she was born, and finally, is neither initiating nor sustaining battles. The thing is, she’s still doing everything her way. She’s my last really-close relative and I’ll miss her, complicated as it’s been. As for you, I’ve wondered if you moved away as you planned, got married, and upped your career. Please let me know. And thank you so much for helping, remembering us, following this story, and getting in touch.
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