Elaine

Wednesday, November 06, 2019

Last night, my sister passed away. Early yesterday during my visit to the nursing home, her hospice nurse, social worker, and I discussed her condition. Both long had been assigned to my sister and agreed she wasn’t close to passing. This was reassuring, but I know my sister and told them she’d finish in her own way. Which exactly, she did.

Yesterday, during the hours I sat with her, although seemingly asleep she knew I was there. She once managed to say, “Help me, Diana.” I asked if she wanted to be turned in bed and at her nod called for someone who knew how to do this. That person taught me how to keep my sister’s lips moistened and how to offer water through a straw, all of which my sister resisted. Later, as I was leaving the facility, a nurse said someone was on the way to turn her again.

Last night around midnight, after awakening and letting the dogs outside, I discovered that my phone had a voice message informing me of her death. On the advice of her hospice team, I had packed away some my own sense that passing was imminent, and now felt a shock of having left the nursing home too early. In those midnight hours, all I could learn was that already she had been moved to a designated funeral home. I will get in touch early hoping at least once again to visit her.

Five years ago, as I was preparing to bring my sister to Oregon, she explained her wishes to be cremated and then her ashes mixed with those of a beloved dog, whose ashes she had saved for years and which I have. I’ll do as she wanted. Something else she’d prefer would be those ashes spread in favorite surroundings, like the Nevada or Arizona desert, or near Little Rock, CA, where once she lived.

I am touched and encouraged by readers who care and have followed this ongoing, sporadic thread of my sister’s story. Later, I will write more, for Elaine was a unique and in many ways amazing individual.

Dear Friends: This is a rare moment, for I’ve run out of words. Diana

10 thoughts on “Elaine

  1. Dear Diana,
    I am so very sorry to hear of your sisters passing. My thoughts are with you at this very difficult tune.
    As I read your blog daily, you were sensing a big change with her. You knew her very well. And loved her deeply. May the thoughts that she is in a better place carry you through this.
    Your friend,
    Rachelle

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  2. So, so sorry, Diana. Lovely pictures, Elaine had quite the life! You have been there for her and taken such good care of her needs and it must feel empty without her, but she is at peace now. Take good care of yourself. Love and hugs.

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  3. Even though you knew this was imminent, it is still so hard to lose a sibling. Even though she expressed anger when you brought her to Bend, you did the caring thing, difficult as it was. I know your relationship with Elaine was demanding and complicated, you were wonderfully loyal and added to her quality of life and well being. Sending hugs to you, my friend. Dave and I will do anything we can if you need help or comfort. We love and admire you. Julie

    On Wed, Nov 6, 2019 at 3:14 AM Diana’s Morning Blog wrote:

    > trailriderincentraloregon posted: ” Wednesday, November 06, 2019 Last > night, my sister passed away. Early yesterday while visiting, the hospice > nurse, social worker, and I discussed her condition. Neither assigned to > her had a sense that she was very near to passing. They were reass” >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and Dave so much, Julie. It’s incredibly reassuring that you keep an eye on the action (or lack of) here. Yes, you knew how difficult my sister was upon arriving in Bend and realizing she’d not be returning to Nevada/Arizona. She did mellow over the past 1-1/2 years and we regained some balance in our relationship. Tonight, I miss her terribly.

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