Saturday, December 21, 2019
Here in the Pacific Northwest, the winter solstice and a “pineapple express” were supposed to hit us all at once. But the “express” is delayed somewhere. Today, we’ll see this year’s briefest daylight and will experience periods of gusty winds. High winds could be a cause for my horses to stay home and near their shelter.
As for me, I’m restless and can’t concentrate, couldn’t sleep through the night. The first time I got up, I rambled around listening to music while reading major newspapers. That didn’t do the trick and sleep didn’t happen. The second time up, and more focused, I tackled a course on computer programming. A few sessions into Java did the trick, and exhausted I trundled off to bed.
Normally, I enjoy those awake-midnight hours and very-quiet times. They foster creative thinking and a rewarding sense of productivity. So what’s interfering now, keeping me on edge and a bit hyper? Could much of the cause be simply that it’s “this time of a year”? The Holidays are upon us, we’re about to exit a tumultuous decade, ahead are winter weather challenges, and also ahead, this nation’s leadership hinges on an election that’s just around the corner. I suppose it’s all that, plus my having lost a loved one recently.
That loved one of course was my big sister. Our relationship was complex. In my mind she probably represented a sort-of parental figure and her passing had impact. Today is the closing date for a finalization of the sale of her house in a remote Arizona community. Maybe the other thing weighing on me is a fact of more finality. Who knows? We do our best, a step at a time, and always must work through myriads of complicated feelings.
I’ll take whatever this and other days offer. I’ll work through this period of time and any upcoming, sleepless nights! Surely, I’ll be spending more wee hours with Java.
Dear Friends: A momentous era that broadened our sense of history is closing. Diana